this one's for you, sky cat

So I'm back in Wales, and it's quite nice. I obviously miss some things about Brighton very much, mostly Liam and people like Laura, my friends from Family (who I hadn't seen in a while before I left), Cassie (who to be fair wasn't in Brighton anyway). And other things too, like the North Lanes and being able to get things at midnight.

Don't get me wrong, there are definite pluses to being in Wales, such as the peace and quiet and the lack of pavement rage. Also the beautiful countryside and smell of honeysuckle works wonders for a fuddled mind.

I'm just torn at the moment. My heart's definitely in two places. I love being here and seeing friends though; it was awesome getting to be here for my brother's 21st and hanging out with him. Seeing Bryn was lovely too, and my regular trips to Builth to see Bod are fantastic.

He's been teaching me guitary things, such as barre chords and power chords. I won't lie and say I'm any good at them, but Bod is very encouraging and I'm sure I'll pick it up soon. I just need to practice... It's quite satisfying to be able to play things I recognise though. And we're writing a little song, too, which is going to be absolutely amazing. Mostly down to Bod's musical genius, but I gave him the starting chord which we have dubbed "Little G". I know I'll post it on here once it's finished!

I've been concentrating on taking back music I love lately. You know sometimes there are songs you absolutely love but you can't listen to them because they just remind you of something that you don't need to think about any more? For whatever reason. Well, anyway, I've been forcing myself to listen and focus on the song and generate some new meaningless-meaning for them. It's working; they're all just songs now.

This is the first time in my life I've had enough emotional control, and I'm fairly sure it's down to Liam. I was talking to my Mum about how much has changed in the past two years; the rollercoaster I've been on and how out of control I was in a lot of situations. But I've really grown up in the past six months, especially, and I wouldn't have been able to do it without the understanding and love I felt from Liam. We've been together a year now, and I still couldn't be happier.

Oooh, mushy. I'll stop that now. But yeah, I'm happy and in a really good place. Apart from work, but 'm trying not to bitch and moan about it anymore. I've got goals, and I need it to fulfil them. We've all got to make sacrifices; the job I have now is  my sacrifice for volunteering and travelling. I just need to focus on that. Or so people keep telling me...